Peonies

From my garden:

Light Years Before Dreaming

Each night when I lay down to sleep, I disturb the air with my bedding. I inadvertently send lint and dust particles flying through the air. I know this because I see them against the dark background of my wall in the intense beam of light that descends from my halogen ceiling lamp. These particles float and mingle in the air currents. Sometimes I watch them. They shine like stars. They are multiple colors. Some of them blink like pulsars; others only exist as a momentary flash- a micronova.

Perhaps our universe exists as the result of a cosmic settling down of sorts. Perhaps we are the last thought before dreaming. If we were to view ourselves from afar, we might look exactly like this micro-universe I am observing.

My curiosity gets the best of me. I reach out to try to touch one of these shimmering particles. Though I reach slowly, the particles react violently. They swirl around in this new air current. My gentle reach contains all the violence of a black hole. Of course, I cannot touch the particle I originally targeted. It has changed its course. I have lost it in this dust galaxy.

Something else happens. Suddenly, I can no longer see my stars. The reflection of the light’s beam off my hand is too intense. This bright light on such a large surface prevents me from seeing the complex galaxy that I just disturbed.

I realize that as humans, we do this all the time. We reach out with our curiosity and our egos as we constantly reflect upon ourselves. How beautiful would the universe appear if we could see it without blinding ourselves with our own existence?

The Other Cat

I posted a story about my "big cat," Morgan (who is feeling much better). My "little cat," Lyra is the one causing me heartache now. Despite my attempts at keeping her indoors, she's been running out almost every day. Several times, she has returned with various "gifts." I got her a bell, but that doesn't seem to help. Here's one reason why:


(she got up there by crawling up the wall and then THROUGH the house!)

I have buried several creatures, all of whom I've named: Rosy Bird, Teddy Bear, Sunshine, Gift...On a positive note, there have been a few survivors. I display them here for the ones who didn't survive:

Pheonix was an amazing case. A Yellow-Rumped Warbler who played dead and then flew from the ashes:





(free as a bird- animated by my neighbor, Nageva)

Shoelaces:



(again, animated by Nageva)

Phun with Photos

Do brothers and sisters ever grow up?

My brother, spinning with the slow shutter on:


Me, doing the same thing:



More slow shutter fun- Headless siblings:



Only sisters can see the demon sides of their little brothers:



Uh, touchee!

Been a while

It's been a while since my last blog, but for good reason. I mentioned before that I had submitted a screenplay to the Slamdance Screenplay Competition. That has kept me on pins and needles for a while. As if it isn't hard enough to wait to hear from a competition like this, something went wrong with my account and I wasn't receiving the info that I needed! After weeks of calling, e-mailing and "vibing" the people in charge of the festival, I discovered that I have made it past the first round of readings with high scores and am now a semi-finalist contender!

While that turned out to be good news, the not so good news is that my cat, Morgan, had to go to the kitty hospital for a bladder/kidney infection. She is eleven, which means that this may now be a chronic problem for her. She is on antibiotics and subcutaneous fluids. English: we were instructed on how to give an I.V. in her neck so that we can administer fluids beneath her skin. Not only is it hard to stick your own cat with a needle, but it is next to impossible to get her to put up with it. I just wanted to collect some good kitty vibes for her here:







(you can see from this blurry photo not only how cute she is, but how hard it is to get her to sit still!)

Tank Mates

Just thought I would share some pictures of my "more interesting-looking" roommates!

First, my newest friend:




He's a Dwarf Lionfish. His spines are poisonous. The poison won't hurt you or kill you, but someone who was once stung told me they needed two morphine shots to deal with the pain. That puts an end to my swimming laps in my fish tank!

My first "friend" (he was uninvited- I think he traveled for miles in the bag of sand that I put in the bottom of the tank):


He's a...something.

Another new "friend:"



Not sure what this thing is either, but I first saw it a couple of days ago.
There are also sea stars that pop out from time to time and a Hawaiian fireworm that makes a rare appearance. Sometimes, I wonder what else could be lurking in my aquarium...

Fires of Creation?

The Spitzer Space telescope recently took this amazing picture:



This object is being called "The Double Helix Nebula" due to its DNA strand shape. The shape is thought to be caused by the magnetic field near our galaxy's center.

This nebula is about 300 light years from the black hole at the center of the Milky Way (to put that into perspective, we are over 25,000 light years away from it). It joins the "Strangely Shaped Nebulae Club," consisting of such members as the red rectangle and, of course, the smiley binary system highlighted below!

This is a false-color image. Spitzer is an infrared telescope. Since we can't see infrared, the images are assigned colors so that we can see them.

Photo credit: NASA/JPL, Caltech/UCLA

An Optimist's Confirmation

I just received my beautiful e-postcard from the Spitzer Space Telescope:



What you are looking at is Stephan's Quintet. Four of the five galaxies in this image are colliding. The green arc in the center of the image is actually one of the largest shock waves ever seen- it's a shock wave bigger than our own galaxy! It is being produced by one galaxy falling toward another at over a million miles per hour.

Now what you might not see is actual scientific proof of a long-held belief! Now don't be hard on yourself if you don't initially see it, I am an astronomer and have been trained in image analysis. I know the proper equations to apply to this image to glean the truly necessary information. Using complex number wave functions and a little bit of scientific ingenuity I have come up with this:



God truly does have a sense of humor.

Vlog

I now have a vlog set up (a video blog, that is)!

The Muybridge Connection

The first post there is my 10 minute narrative short film. It will take a long time to load, but I'm not planning on posting videos that large each time I post somthing, so never fear! The film was just long overdue and I wanted it to have a home somewhere. It was originally shot on 16mm film and looks best that way, but since I can't afford prints right now, this is the only life it can have:

The Written Word

Words words words!

Today is the day.
I take a deep breath, run to Kinko's and print out 120 pages of screenplay. Then I drop it in a box, send it off to the Slamdance Screenplay Competition and wait. And wait. And wait...

On top of that, I finally have my ENTIRE thesis on the representation of children in the films of François Truffaut up and running!

On top of that, Jennifer MacMillan has just written about this blog on her blog: Invisible Cinema Now I'm writing about hers on mine. What a word whilrwind! It's been a long time since I've spent so much time with the written word. Tonight I will immerse myself here and surround myself with images.

A Snail's Trail in the Moonlight

It was recently filmmaker (and friend) Stan Brakhage's birthday. Here is a belated gift to a man who said he wanted to "leave a snail's trail in the moonlight:"



These are the "teeth marks" of my saltwater snail friend, pictured below:



Many thanks to Gary the snail!

"Postartum" Depression?

Words are returning in spades!

I've been trying to figure out why I've been so blue lately and realized something that might resonate with others:

I recently finished a screenplay that I had been working on for some time. I knew I had been working on it for at least two years (I started it when I was still living in New York) but a friend actually confirmed for me that I had sent him the first draft in September of 2002! So basically, It's been a project for about four years. In those four years, I abandoned it twice, hacked it pieces, pasted it back together, killed some of my characters and even brought a couple back to life. Needless to say, it’s been in my head for a long time!

Well, about a week ago, I actually typed "The End." Now my mind is reeling! Now what? Now what do I do with this? So I've finished the daunting task of writing 106 pages of story, now I'm faced with the even more daunting task of actually making the film (or worse yet, now people might actually read it, judge it, and the whole thing might not ever become a film)! Plus, there is a bit of…sadness. Now I have to move on and just let the screenplay part of it be what it is. This is much easier said than done.

Since that day, I’ve been moody, prone to crying for no particular reason, tired, argumentative, etc. Most interestingly, I had a very bizarre dream a couple of nights ago: I just had a baby. I kept finding the baby in precarious situations- climbing on scaffolding, swimming underwater, even jumping out of airplanes! I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone else to know that I'd had the baby and was extremely reluctant to nurse it.

All of this suddenly made sense to me- I was suffering from a kind of mild artistic postpartum depression (without all of the chemical changes that go on during childbirth, I admit- though it has been suggested to me several times that the "chemical" thing is there in me as well. My hellish experiences with prescription drug experimentation are fodder for another post!)

I’ve read about this happening with many artists- there’s a sort of mania involved in working on a large project and then a sort of depression when you send your creation out, defenseless in the world, to be scrutinized by curators, festival organizers, etc. Might be one of the reasons why much of my work has never left my house and why many of the talented people I know are "closet" artists! I do know that this has happened to me more than once.

Needless to say, this realization has been a powerful tool for me. It has forced me to start on another project- to have a new focus while people are reading the script and the "what ifs" are floating around my head. I think we all just have to keep plugging away…

Frigid 2

From the outdoor landscape to the one covering my desk:



Each sheet must be placed in numerical order, sorted, photocopied and redistributed...
The Arctic tundra actually seems pretty inviting right now (ironically, I am working for a research goup that does Arcitc, Antarctic and alpine work)!

Still, beats pushing "gift with purchase" at the mall.

Frigid

A photo tour of how I'm feeling this morning- both because the heat at work is broken and because today I feel completely alienated from everyone I've ever known or loved. I figure someone out there might share the same sentiments from time to time.

Mystery Artist Contest #1

Okay, here's a little contest to mix things up. If you are one of the first three people to guess the artist correctly, I will send you a DVD of my films (how's that for prizes)! I recently discovered two of my favorite artists hiding in everyday household items. The first was found in a candle. The candle was actually in front of a poster of this person's work and I was really amazed to see the correlation (the colors were an exact match). Here's artist #1:



Who is it?

Lyra and the Amaryllis

New Year Winter Wonderland

Some photos from my recent New Year's trip to Ouray and Telluride. Arriving- San Juan Mountains:
The Ouray Ice Park near Box Canyon Falls (these are man-made "falls" designed for ice climbing):



At the base of the "natural" falls:


And from the top (as viewed 100's of feet above on a rickety bridge...crazy scary):

Holiday lights in Telluride: